My Virgin Blogger Hands

My very first blog.
Never have I conveyed such senselessness to binary, next to certain noone will ever read it. But that is what blogging is all about, yes yes? Why do I consider it an achievement? Because, I am a man with a lot to say.
And who, among you tired, non-existant readers, will throw yourself at my cause and stop me? Hmm? I'd like ta see ya try! Trust me, for when I say this I merit the very solice of honesty, when I spit my venom I expect it to contaminate.

Don't know what I'm talking about? Merit of solice of what? Venom?
Shut up and listen. I'm the one with those witticisms you love to love, and that snarky commentary from the avenues of that sparkling ruby amongst the gravel they call Hollywood. Of course, I've never been there... but when Sean Penn personally tells me Hollywood is a terrible, unfortunable Sin City, I believe him. Of course, I've never spoken to Sean Penn, albeit met him.... but I did enjoy Mystic River. So in a sort of six degrees of seperation kind of sense, it kind of works out. My knowledge of Hollywood is legit. And I have a contract to prove it (also a lie).