Zee 'Hills'!!! Zey Have 'EYES'!!!

The Hills Have Eyes Trailer

Ahhh, Christmas is upon us. To me, Christmas is not about Jesus Christ's birthday. Pfft, I mean, come on, he's been dead a couple thousand years, you think we'd let him rest in peace after all this time has past. But no, every year, we stick a party hat on his head and bring out the baby photos, just in case we didn't see them the first eight billion times in those goddamned school Nativity recitals throughout our life. And finally, the night ends with Jesus' party guests yelling for him to 'Chug, chug, chug, chug!!!"
To me, Jesus is just an afterthought. To me, Christmas is about family. Every family relates better in the giving season, every single one is brought closer to truly appreciate the group of blood-joined people they have been blessedly associated with.

Including Horror Mutant Family #016, belonging to the upcoming remake of The Hills Have Eyes. Fox Searchlight has just released their snazzy new trailer onto the Web, and it's well worth the look if family is as strong a point of the holiday for you as it is mine.
What seemingly brings this family together is, at a wild guess from the direction the trailer seems to have been leading, to murder a group of city slickers in the desert hills of New Mexico. Which isn't so surprising really, since they've had nuclear bombs dropped on them for twenty-odd years. I don't blame them for wanting blood.

I liked the trailer. I mean, it doesn't exactly do anything new, but it has some cool concepts that make it seem fresh.
"All the leaves are brown (All the leaves are brown)" hacks Mama Cass and her backup Papas, supplying us with an absolutely unfitting and unusual melody for the whole movie we are about to sample. The music is dated, only all the characters use cell-phones, drive modern cars, wear modern clothing. Are we really supposed to believe the twirpy teen sitting in the back seat of the soon to be immobilised car is listening to California Dreamin' on his Ipod?
It is in this very backseat, also, we catch our glimpse of Emily De Ravin of 'Lost' fame. She plays the teenage daughter, who's probably supposed to be ten years old are something.
"Next year, I am going to Cancun," Yeah. I'm sure sucky ass New Mexico mountains sounded great on paper, too. I guess a road trip through the gorgeously endless fields of scenic dirt was too tempting to give up.

And then, enter our good ol' loving American family, the type of that gets its kicks by tearing other families apart. Literally. And they're a good looking bunch too. There's the one with a mining axe that looks very monkey-ish, there's the jittery one in the wheelchair that... well I'm not exactly sure what he's there to do, and there's the awesomely absurd guy in the head brace (that reminds me of the terrible, terrible subordinate in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, with the metal plate in his head).
The tagline "The lucky ones die first" isn't bad, but does that mean all the Normal family dies. Since, if there were at least one that survived the onslaught, would they not be luckier than the ones who had been brutally disembowled?

The trailer doesn't reveal too much other than that. Oh, a distressed de Ravin swings a pick-axe at someone or something strategically off camera at the end of the clip. One can only presume its an unlucky member of the Mutant family.
A grisly reminder of what Christmas means to the idea of family. Whether you can relate more to the Mutant family, or the Normal family this holiday, remember that its our harmony within our familial structures that would drive us to such extremes as repeatedly pick-axing the skull of an offender threatening that very same harmony.

Mutants are people too. If only just barely.

The Hiatus Has Only Just Begun...

Ok, so I haven't posted in ages. But, to be fair, you haven't read this in.... well, ever. Why haven't I updated? Just didn't get around to it. I've been catching up on a lot of older movie watching, which is way more enjoyable than writing about the depressing state the film industry is in at the moment. Anyone seen Aeon Flux yet? Is it any good? (Both rhetorical questions).

So, what else have I been up to? I've been roaming around IMDb, my sanctuary, and seeings as though it's the end of the year, I thought I might check the semi-reliable Yearly Listings for 2006. I originally thought 2006 was going to be a slow year, and I'm not totally convinced otherwise. However, I constructed a list of films I'd be interested to check out (in trailer form at least), and I came out with an impressive 66 different movies.
Sure, admittedly, a whole bunch of them I'd only want to see for their campy badness, and 3 of the 66 movies are by Uwe Boll, but some of them dont look half bad.
Here are some highlights of the list:

2006

Across The Universe - I find this one interesting. A musical based solely on 'Beatles' music. Must have cost a fortune for the licenses.

All The Kings Men - It's got Sean Penn and James Gandolfini in it. I'm sold.
Bloodrayne - Bahahahaha. Yeah, looks tops.
Evan Almighty - There's no chance this is gonna be good. But what if there was? *tense*
Far Cry - Like a train-wreck, you just cant look away from Uwe Boll's mass array of... well, train-wrecks.
Flags of Our Fathers - Clint, don't let me down, ya bastard.
Flushed Away - Whoever came up with the idea to use Bill Nighy's voice in an Aardman movie... Genius.
Grindhouse - QT and RR. Should be dripping with style.
In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale - Boll-y Boll-y Boll-y Boll-y!
Inglorious Bastards - Hah! 2006? Yeah right, Quentin. Wasn’t this supposed to come out in like, 1997 or something? 9 years ago. Why not make it 10?
Lord of War - Taking its sweet ass time getting here.
March of the Penguins - I just wanna watch the penguins, ok? Anyone got a problem with that?
Nacho Libre - Jack Black entertains me. Lets hope this isn’t a piece of shit.
Oldboy - I’ve been dying to see the original. Remake has a chance of being awesome.
Rambo 4 - “What you call hell, he calls home”. I’m awaiting, John. J.
Saw 3 - Oh man, I’m so grateful for this franchise. So quick and cheap to make. A dozen more please.
Scary Movie 4 - It’ll help pass the time, I suppose.
Silent Hill - High hopes for this one will inevitably be shot from the sky. But I can dream cant I?
Terminator 4 - *groan* Do I have to speak the words?
The Aristocrats – Yep, it’ll be out here real soon, and I’ll be there waiting.
The Children of Men – Ridley Scott’s doing his bit for this. Which means I gotta see.
The Da Vinci Code – Just read the book. But I’m not liking the trailer.
The Departed – Now, I like Scorcese, but what’s his deal with Leo DiCaprio? He’s not THAT good, Marty.
The Evil Dead – And the magic 8-ball says: Don’t count on it.
The Hills Have Eyes – Hillbillies? MPAA deeming it too violent? I’m there.
Underworld 2: Evolution – Bill Nighy makes an appearance. Not be missed. On DVD at least. Actually scrap that, on cable.
Walk The Line – Just want to see Phoenix and Witherspoon’s performances. Heard the film kinda sucked.
When Worlds Collide – Yay! Big budget, B-Grade fun. Something we’ve been lacking! (not being sarcastic).
Young Hannibal: Behind The Mask – Bad, bad title. Weird casting. Ruined franchise??? *shrugs quizzically*

The Top Picks

A Good Year

A Ridley Scott film. Starring Russel Crowe. Won't be terrible.

A History of Violence

Australia has yet to get screen this awesome looking film, looks to be a gem.

Brokeback Mountain

Call me queer, but I'm really looking forward to this one. Ang Lee is godly. I like the accepting pro-homo image I have going on, and me liking this will just strengthen it.

Casino Royale

Might get a 2006 release. Might not. I'm just praying the crew can pull it off.

Jurassic Park 4

Please don’t fuck it up, please don’t fuck it up, please don’t fuck it up...

Lady In The Water

Hell Yeah! Quite possibly my most anticipated film at present. Shyamalan Power!

Munich

SPIELBERG! THE TIME IS AT HAND FOR MORE SPIELBERG-MANIA!!!! WOO WOO!

Poseidon

Every time I watch the trailer, it looks better and better. So, could it be ok? No? oh…

Sin City 2

I’m psyched for this. I really am.

I'll try to post more rants later.

My Verdict... on Australia's Verdict!

Well, tonight was the night I had been anticipating for some weeks; the unvieling of the ten most popular movies of all time as voted by the Australian public. ABC TV screened 'My Favourite Film', a wonderful and witty countdown of our much loved treasures, and an assessment towards why we do. Besides the savage anti-cilmax which reduced me to a slunk in my chair, the programme delighted and completely surprised me, made me nod with warm agreement and approval at the choices my fellow nation made with me.
And whilst just a few of my favourites that I would have liked on the list actually made it on, I wholeheartedly encourage that. Australia boasts itself as a multicultural society, so its a matter of pride to see such diversity in the perception of what makes a special, magical and truly immersive movie experience.
So, without further rambling... the list:

10. Fight Club
9. Gone With The Wind
8. The Princess Bride
7. Pulp Fiction
6. Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope
5. Donnie Darko
4. The Shawshank Redemption
3. Blade Runner
2. Amelie
1. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Admittedly, there are a lot of real puzzling entries to the list that make it all the more fascinating. Star Wars at #6? Donnie Darko in amongst all the powerhouse spectaculars? Amelie as Australia's second choice for best film ever made? Its so shocking and dumbfounding and absurd yet it all makes perfect sense.
Not that I think the list is accurate or represents anything outside of collective bouts of voting on the whim, but its just so fun to see that classics like Pulp Fiction and The Shawshank Redemption aren't lost amongst the sea of concepts and scenarios and stories from other films that may have stronger appeal.

In my opinion (which sadly, as just but one Australian, can't decide the competition), movies like Amelie, The Princess Bride and especially the The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (which wouldn't make my Top 100 list) are not Top 10 material.
But that leads me to a dilemma of sorts. Because as hard as I try, I cannot devise a way to place my favourite films into a list of 10. Deciding on a #1 for me could take a lifetime, and knowing how to rank a movie like Jaws against a movie like The Wizard of Oz could leave me pondering whether something so blatently categorical is really necessary. Sure, by terms of polling 100,000 people, the results are not so hard to distinguish. But when left with the aching decision of naming an absolute favourite, we are also left with the feeling that maybe the movies that mean the most to us are of such a design that we can't seperate them and arrange them or force them to relate through a series of descending numbers.
Is it so wild to think that all those films that we hold so close on a personal level are all individual, like us, and that neither film's habitual universe overlaps each other? If so, couldn't they all be #1 simultaneously, in their own right?
That's my envisioning of it, anway.

And as my philosophy of Top 10 lists comes to a close, I would just like to reiterate what a terrific time I had listening to the fairly open ended discussions of the films in question on the 'My Favourite Film' tonight. I would like to congratulate Sigrid Thornton, Richard Roxborough, the always funny Judith Lucy, the always funny Chris Taylor, the rarely funny random cricket guy they had on, and of course, the Aussie Arts icon herself, Margaret Pomeranz, for providing such a easy-going, hilarious and fleshed-out panel of opinions and analysis. Well done.



Number of cheap shots at 'The Lord of the Rings': 1. (wow, I surprised myself)

Rambo: Fourth Blood!

Can I just say something? Over the past few nights, I've rewatched the First Blood/Rambo series on DVD. And you know what, I honestly think Stallone may be able to pull off Rambo IV yet. Not that the series is terrific (even though the first movie is), but its only now that I've recognised the fact that the character, John J. Rambo, is the perfect old-school '80's figure to resurrect. Why? I'll tell you.

Unlike the other Stallone 80's character being resurrected, Rocky Balboa, Rambo has a past he's forced to remember. Be it to protect his rights of humanity and equality, or to bust Lt. Troutman out of a Middle-Eastern bighouse, Rambo is based on revisiting himself. Which is why a new film centred on Rambo 17 years after his last adventure isn't such a horrible idea.

See, the characterisation built in the first three films can actually be used to make this a potentially awesome climax for the character. It would round out the series like no other has dared. Think about it: A prisoner of war returns home to forget his past, wages war against authority, gets sent to prison to forget his past, gets out of prison to complete a mission, goes to the mountains to forget his past; goes to the desert to free his old leiutanant...
And what next??? 17 years of living in a US surburban area supressing and forgetting his past, with noone dragging him back into the fray of recollection. 17 years!!! And we just know it'll be badass when some kidnappers mess with the wrong sonofabitch.

I don't know, I'm just psyched. This is one of the few films of 2006 I'm actually anticipating. It will probably be silly, but the possibilities just entice my 80's-ish appetite. It'll be ok to see Stallone doing something again, as well. They just better retain that nice 'Rambo' music, in memory of Jerry Goldsmith, of course.

Farewell Wendie Jo Sperber

Wendie Jo Sperber

(1958 - 2005)

Gosh darn it. This is getting tragic. How many more lives does the year 2005 wish to claim? Another fatality is among us, my friends. And such a youthless soul has been taken.
On the 29th of November, Wendie Jo Sperber lost her long battle with breast cancer. She is survived by two children. She was 47 years old.

I for one will remember Miss Sperber as the pretty young sister of Marty McFly, Linda, in Back to the Future and Back to the Future: Part III. That rebellious and honest young go-getter, snapping and scoffing around the dinner-table. And isn't that just how we should remember her? She wouldn't lay down and take what was given to her if she didn't like it, be it the lame McFly parents reminiscing over the 'Enchanted Under The Sea Dance', or the cancer that took her life. She'd put her foot down and fight it till the end. All with the attitude and energy she so persistantly put on screen.

While she was mostly famous for her days in the sitcom "Bossom Buddies" with Tom Hanks, Wendie Jo continued her comedic talents into a defined film career, working with directors such a Steven Spielberg and Robert Zemeckis. However, what truly makes her remarkable is that she managed to do this whilst fighting her illness, supporting breast cancer fundraising events, and founding the weSpark Cancer Support Centre.

For her contributions to the world of film and its audiences, as well countless cancer sufferers and their families, I bid you a heartfelt farewell, Wendie Jo Sperber.
Rest In Peace