Someone Stab Me In The Eyes!

I wanted to really scold a writer-director named Ryan Murphy for this PIECE OF SHIT for today's blog entry. And I had full intention of doing so. God knows, after I finished watching the trailer to Running With Scissors, I wanted to literally scold him with molten iron. But then I looked him up on IMDb, and discovered he is the creator and head writer of one of my favourite TV series, Nip/Tuck.
Unthankfully, Running With Scissors is absolutely in no way like Nip/Tuck. Nip/Tuck requires a great deal of talent, focus on character, focus on story progression, on drama, on interaction and conversation. Running With Scissors is some PIECE OF SHIT that follows some fuck that was adopted by his mother's psychiatrist who happens to be insane and have a Texas Chainsaw Massacre style family that likes to be all zany and dress like they just stepped out of a capsule from an alternate dimension in time. I HATE movies like this. I HATE them.

For whatever reason, like many outcast, underattended kids, this movie has to dress weird and be unpredictable and semi-snappy to feel special. But in reality, at it's core, the reasons they were outcast to begin with never fail to shine through the forced obscurity.
Under the 'we live in a crazy universe Tim Burton would be proud of' farce there exists a sickening hollow that angers me extremely. I just really hate this PIECE OF SHIT.
Tim Burton can go to hell too. He's the grandfather of dressing up bland and laboured films with silliness and quasi-realism. It's not imaginative, it's not charming, it's not fun. It's lame and its gimmicky and it's a major distraction to what is essentially nothing more than a PIECE OF SHIT movie.

Running With Scissors is not just filled with angering moments, it is riddled with disappointments too. Brian Cox, who has had an impeccable track record, crashes, burns, and when the firefighters go in to recover the black box, he explodes again. He bumbles around as the lunatic father/psychiatrist with lunatic daughters, Gwenyth Paltrow and Evan Rachel Wood (who might I add are looking uglier here than they ever have in their life). Together, they enjoy giving each other electro-shock treatment, making holes in the ceiling with broomhandles, and prescribing one another drugs that they don't even know the names of.
Couple that with the woman that eats dog biscuits for no reason, and you've got yourself the reason I hate this movie.

However, that's not to say I hate all movies with the same motivations. The Royal Tenenbaums surprised, stunned and won me over. Might I also add, Running With Scissors borrows so much from The Royal Tenenbaums that I shook with rage when re-watching the trailer. Even down to casting Gwenyth Paltrow in the SAME fricken type of role. Using the same 'father alienating his daughter in front of everyone, almost on purpose' joke, lifted right from Tenenbaums. It's criminal, that's what that is.

So, screw the fact that Nip/Tuck is oh so awesome, Ryan Murphy, you're a PIECE OF SHIT.

Running With Scissors - Tristar Pictures
Anticipation Level: Stay unreleased. Please!
Look out for: Absolutely no reason to watch this. I tell you, Running With Scissors should consider itself lucky that I previewed it in the same month as Sleeping Dogs Lie, because if it wasn't for that, it'd be getting Worst of September hands down.
US Release date: 20th October, 2006.
Trailer Source