Your Prayers Have Been Answered!
Hallelujah. Praise the lord. It's happened. All our petitioning has payed off, all our pleading to the heavens has been for a purpose. The powers that be smile upon us, and continue to bless us. Thank you, oh mighty Paramount Pictures.
Wait, we did all want a second sequel to Lara Croft in Tomb Raider.... right?
Ohhhh, that's right. Those movies suck. Stop! Stop praising the lord right now. He is an evil, tormenting lord who must have nothing but resentment for Hollywood and it's fanbase, what with the shenanigans He allows to take place.
Did he think Will Farrell was a better choice than James Caviezel to play His son in The Passion of the Christ? Did Morgan Freeman's happy-go-lucky portrayal of Him in Bruce Almighty not accurately capture His professionalism? Or perhaps Alien vs Predator just didn't live up to His admittedly high expectations.
Whatever the reason, He's no doubt pissed off at something. A third 'Tomb Raider' movie is in my opinion one of His most sadistic and treachorous punishments yet. Forget locusts and flash floods. This is worse.
Angelina Jolie has expressed interest in reprising the role of Lara Croft, which seems like an insane stunt given her new-found high profile. She's come a long way from exclusively being in movies that contain at least three nude scenes. I mean, I like her. But 'Tomb Raider' is something to do when you can't do anything else.
Look at Daniel Craig for instance. He was something of a no-name when he starred in the first film. Since then, he's worked with Guy Ritchie, Steven Spielberg and oh yeah, he's now James Bond. He'd never go back to trashy 'Tomb Raider' movies, it was merely a rung of his fairly fresh career ladder. Jolie should be looking at it in the same way.
Of course... I'm only saying that because if Jolie doesn't sign up, the movie would either get cancelled or end up with a recast B-Grade Croft in a direct-to-DVD release.
Time to start praying again.
Wait, we did all want a second sequel to Lara Croft in Tomb Raider.... right?
Ohhhh, that's right. Those movies suck. Stop! Stop praising the lord right now. He is an evil, tormenting lord who must have nothing but resentment for Hollywood and it's fanbase, what with the shenanigans He allows to take place.
Did he think Will Farrell was a better choice than James Caviezel to play His son in The Passion of the Christ? Did Morgan Freeman's happy-go-lucky portrayal of Him in Bruce Almighty not accurately capture His professionalism? Or perhaps Alien vs Predator just didn't live up to His admittedly high expectations.
Whatever the reason, He's no doubt pissed off at something. A third 'Tomb Raider' movie is in my opinion one of His most sadistic and treachorous punishments yet. Forget locusts and flash floods. This is worse.
Angelina Jolie has expressed interest in reprising the role of Lara Croft, which seems like an insane stunt given her new-found high profile. She's come a long way from exclusively being in movies that contain at least three nude scenes. I mean, I like her. But 'Tomb Raider' is something to do when you can't do anything else.
Look at Daniel Craig for instance. He was something of a no-name when he starred in the first film. Since then, he's worked with Guy Ritchie, Steven Spielberg and oh yeah, he's now James Bond. He'd never go back to trashy 'Tomb Raider' movies, it was merely a rung of his fairly fresh career ladder. Jolie should be looking at it in the same way.
Of course... I'm only saying that because if Jolie doesn't sign up, the movie would either get cancelled or end up with a recast B-Grade Croft in a direct-to-DVD release.
Time to start praying again.
posted by Ryan at 5:15 pm
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