Just What This Blog Was Lacking; Another Post Title With A Semicolon In It

'Calvaire' is the Belgian word for 'ordeal.'
And I can't think of a better way to describe this somewhat basic, but extremely mysterious Euro-horror film. It is quite simply an ordeal. Not in the negative "God, sitting through 2004's remake of Taxi starring Queen Latifa and Jimmy Fallon was an ordeal" sense of the word either. More like "Holy shit, that's one of the most bizarre and chilling things I've ever seen" type of ordeal. Which is just how I like my ordeals. Nice and damaging (that's not to say watching Taxi wasn't damaging. That's not to say that at all).

The trailer to Calvaire is absolutely fantastic. It sets up the situation well, detailing a lone guy getting lost in the woods and accepting help from a local who then proceeds to blow up his car and take our protagonist prisoner. Basic, really basic stuff. But the real challenge to the trailer is the fact we have to work out the rest. And believe me, that's no easy feat.
Who is this ruthless torturer? What are his motives? As the trailer progresses, I think we'll all quickly realise this is no ordinary 'catch and release and pursue and traumatize' horror movie.
For me, it holds the audience's hand through it's introduction, downplaying to explain the story, setting up the complication and so on. And then it suddenly lets go, and you're on your own from then on.

The trailer just keeps getting stranger and stranger, and by the very end, it looks so scarily fucked up that I just have to see it. Which is exactly how trailers should always work. Using vagueness, suspense and curiosity as an advantageous technique means that everyone wins. Yet it gets overlooked often in favour of showcasing a film's more impressive money shots to try and draw in audiences. Still effective, but flawed to a degree.

I still have no idea what Calvaire is actually about, the visceral images can only hint me in an extremely diluted direction. All I know is it somehow involves pigs and really, really, really freaky people dancing. Actually, its less of a dance as it is some rhythmic sway in unison set to an ultra-unsettling piano motif. Yeesh.


Calvaire - Palm Pictures
Anticipation Level: High.
Look out for: The dance of the frightening yokels. Very much looking forward to an explanation.
US Release date: 25th August, 2006.
Trailer Source